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Friday, May 30, 2003
Dazed and Confused!!!
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
What I've been up to lately...
The current book in progress I suppose is a manifesto of sorts, a revoluntionary statement, a wandering procession of a confused person's mind. It is really something that is still evolving. Maybe it would be easier to just post what I have for preface right now...
This book is my attempt to regain my sanity. Over the last few years… no really my whole life, I have been trying to figure out what is truth, what is real, what is genuine. At times I smugly rested on what others told me was truth but in more recent years I’ve been questioning everything, to the extent that I feel lost. So many of the things I thought were absolutely solid truth seem so fluid now. Everything seems so vague… especially matters of faith. The reality is that I am unsatisfied. I can numb this longing in a lot of different ways, but in the end when I can’t sleep at night, and my whole life seems to worthless and pathetic, I must return to the old questions. This book is way of trying to articulate what seems real. I am still very confused but I hope maybe by putting these feelings and thoughts into solid words, that maybe I can find my way out of this abyss of emptiness and into a life of meaning. I hope in some way that my reader might find comfort and guidance in my twisted wanderings as well because I believe my dissatisfaction is not a unique experience. I haven't decided yet what direction this book will go. So far I've talked about what it means to discover one's true identity, the critical imperitive of self-identity and that identity's significance in the community, the fact that love is meaningless unless it is specifc (generic bland "universal" love means nothing if it isn't specifc and unique to the one who is the object of the love)... I hope to move on to talk about the power of friendship, the power of autonomy, the difference between being interconnected as contrasted to being dependent on a sick and twisted societal system, and most of all I want to talk about God, about how it seems God works and doesn't work, and how God gives humankind dignity and worth. Anyway, that's where my writing is focused on right now. I'll probably still blog some but it won't be my primary writing outlet. Also, I do want to say that life is good. I go through phases of euphoria and depression but all in all things are good. I am in love which in general is both a misreable and joyful state of being. (but even in the misrey I like being in love more than not being in love --- if nothing else it makes me feel more alive) Beyond writing and being in love, I work a lot and I daydream about summer traveling. Cornerstone will be good (assuming if I can figure out a way to get there) and the planned weekend Oklahoma roadtrips should be a blast. Well that's enough to say for now. I've typed out plenty of verbal diareha for now as my friend K would say. She's probably right but sometimes it feels good to just say what's on the brain even if it makes no sense. Hasta que la próxima vez yo escriba Saturday, May 24, 2003
The Matrix. . . Reloaded
One more thing... Morpheus. He is a prime example of a true man of faith. I totally dig him, even more so than Neo. Neo seems to almost stumble into his divinity, to be pretty clueless half the time. Morpheus though. . .. he is the real oracle. He is the real prophet. Friday, May 23, 2003
Pictures with my digital camera
So, here are my first pictures from the new camera... (click on the picture to view a larger version of it) ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() These pictures were taken of a field behind all of the sprawl on the Noble Parkway in Norman (right behind the Borders bookstore). I call it my "Prayer Field" because I've had lots of good times of praying while walking around there. It is such a pretty oasis of tranquility and nature in the midst of the big-box stores and asphault parking lots. It probably doesn't look like much to those passing by, but I think it is a treasure. There's a little pond on one side of it, several old trees (which I bet were planted by early settlers), and lots and lots of native grasses and wildflowers. I counted tonight at least 6 different kinds of flowers, but the most showy display was by the bright red visual explosive power of the Indian Paintbrush (shown in the first picture). There's also lots of animals, bugs, skunks (I only know of their presence by the sad sight of one dead that I saw tonight), and lots and lots of birds. I hope and pray they don't kill the field. It would be crime if they did. Maybe they will keep it, but if they don't the field will always be there in these pictures and as ghost on the landscape, waiting the day when mankind no longer destroys beauty so mindlessly. Thursday, May 22, 2003
Light in a dark world
Reading about this ministry is such a beautiful thing. So few Christians follow Jesus's example of ministry to the outcasts (even the prostitutes) so literally. If only we all did this. Random
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Monday, May 19, 2003
Random:
Back from convention
The convention itself went well. Lots of good time with some of the coolest people I've ever known in a beautiful setting (this weekend has made me decide one thing for certain... I'm moving to Eastern Oklahoma after I graduate --- it is so beautiful and so unspoiled out there.) As ussual the business side of the gathering was pretty dry... at moments some tension in drafting our platform, but mostly it was the non-excitement of grammatical editing and rewording. --- I feel ok but not great about our finished platform. It is far superior to the National GP's platform (a horrible document IMHO) but is still more awkward and lengthy than I would have liked. Today, I'm back in the groove of ordinary life. The first day working at my dad's law office went well. While it would still be way cooler to not work at all (hahaha, wishful thinking), I think the job will work out ok. My patience level has definitely improved since last summer and the pace of office work is much better than I would have expected. Overall life is good. Friday, May 16, 2003
More on the Texas legislative walkout
Thursday, May 15, 2003
More on Brenda Ueland...
The more I read of Ueland's book "If you want to write. . ." the more I get fired up. I would have to agree wholeheartedly with Carl Sandburg who said that it was "the best book ever written about how to write." Anyway, here are some links that tell about her life. She sounds like a very interesting person, a femnist before it was cool to be one and someone who was committed to living life fully. Gone to Convention
I'm so looking forward to this convention. Green Party politics is so un-like any of my past political experiences. It is really more of a gathering of friends than the typical cut-throat meanness of my past involvement with other political parties. It will be more like summer camp really than your typical political convention. Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Texas politics... what a hoot
Tonight (oh glorious night!)
Ever since L-school finals ended I have felt like I've been in a haze of sorts. I felt unable to change gears to the summer routine. Finals had been such an intense time, of studying and terror, cigarettes and coffee and power bars; passing from that time to the next didn't seem real yet.. The last few days though, I've been slowly waking up. I decided not to go back to work immediately as planned (at my Dad's law office --- a good job but one that can be rather intense). Since I did need to make some dinero though, I've been doing some landscaping work for my Dad at the office and at my folks' house, but otherwise have been mostly working in my own garden and just be-ing. That brings us to today. The afternoon was spent digging out old weedy flower beds at the office, then adding new soil and planting stuff. --- It doesn't seem that hard, but believe me those beds were a mess with old tangled bermuda grass and sundry weeds. By evening, I was wore out and my body ached so I took a long shower and then drove to Norman to chill out at the Border's bookstore for awhile. I wandered several of my favorite sections thumbing through books: first gardening, then religion, and finally settled on books about writing and getting published. In the midst of my browsing, I stumbled across a little paperback volume that contained the supersonic velocity that I believe has already changed my life... If you want to write: A book about Art, Independence, and Spirit by Brenda Ueland. I can't really explain why this book resonated so, but it did (and I've only read the first 30 pages or so thus far). She takes the thoughts of Emerson, mixes them with the Christian-mystic-madness-joyfulness of William Blake, jumps into the mind of Van Gogh, and then proceeds to pluck kernels from Tolstoi's head... and does all of this is the most pithy, irreverent, and downright joyful prose I've read in eons! Of course I bought the book (along with Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster, also the author of A Celebration of Discipline) and read till closing time. After Border's closed, I walked out into the field behind the store (just a vacant field, often full of wildflowers... strangely enough a place where I've often gone to pray when in Norman) in the fullmoon lit night with clouds at times playing peekaboo with the moon, and prayed like I haven't in a long time. It was so, so good. It seemed like a lot of things came together all at once. I felt the reawakening of my dormant desire to write. I felt the goodness of lifting my arms out into the night sky and feeling the breeze. I also felt remarkably free. . . strangely enough, I felt in my heart that I had finally shed some of the pervasive guilt and surrow that has been stalking my soul. I don't really care to go into detail about the particular issues that I was experiencing guilt over (sorry, just a tad bit too public, but I'll be glad to share the story with any friend who asks off-line), but I finally came to realize that the guilt I was experiencing was NOT from God. There was something about this revelation of freedom and the empowering glorious feeling of the cool breeze in this May night that made me feel so alive! I still can't explain what happened tonight and reading back over this post, I don't think I explained it well at all, but that's the story. I do know for sure that's its time to live completely this summer. I may or may not work at the office some, I haven't decided that yet, but I KNOW that I will write. I have at least two books bouncing around in my skull and my heart and its high time to get them written. My first priority this summer will be to write. The rest might just have to go on the backburner. Quote of the Day
- Brenda Ueland in If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit (page 6), 1938 Saturday, May 10, 2003
More tornadoes
All of my loved ones are ok (at first the tornado appeared to be coming this way straight east from Union City but then veared north towards Mustang, Bethany, and OKC Friday, May 09, 2003
Tomorrow
Then in the afternoon I'll be at Code Pink's Mother's day peace rally in Shawnee to speak on behalf of CROP. I hope to see y'all there. Photos from yesterday's tornado
Thursday, May 08, 2003
What am I going to do this summer
Here's the plan for now... Job: Starting Monday I'll be working for my Dad's law office in Newcastle as a legal assistant/secretary. I've worked for him off in on in the past (for about a year all together) and enjoyed it. In many ways he is the kind of lawyer I aspire to be (I'm biased of course), but the pace in the office can be brutal. I'm hoping though to preserve my sanity by only working Monday-Thursday about 30 hours a week. --- I also will continue to preach (for as long as they'll have me) about 3 times a month. Writing: In June my focus will be on doing my law review comment. I'm looking forward to that as I have an interesting imigration law case to do, but also dread the hours I'll have to spend on it. After teh law review comment is done, then I'm hoping to at least make a dent on one of my life goals... to write a book. I doubt I'll finish it this summer, but I'm seriously considering writing a book about the social justice teachings of Jesus. It would talk about issues like non-violence, concern for the poor, living simply, etc. Travel: So far I have several short trips planned. The biggie will be the Cornerstone Festival in Bushnell, IL. It is a Christian festival that is a bit like Woodstock (sans drugs), lots of good music (plenty that sucks too... especially the Tooth&Nail clone bands, but the folk/accoustic/hippie jam band stuff is might fine listening), seminars from a Christian-leftist perspective, an independnet and foreign film festival, and of course lots of meeting old and new friends from all over the US and Canada. I had considered not going this year, but after a couple of opportunities fell in my lap I couldn't say no. The first is that I'm going to be the reporter for The Vagrant Cafe. (I have gone in the past for EXITzine but Exit is no more.) I really dig Vagrant and the freedom they're giving me to cover C-stone however I want to. I'm also going to be participating in a Q&A session about blogging at the festival's Praire School of Writing. (They had a cancellation which is why I'm getting to do it.) My other planned trips are to visit my friend Kimberly down in Austin, and also to make some Oklahoma road trips with my friends Rachel and Brian. Other stuff: Lots of other stuff is in the works. I want to start painting again. I want to do some serious decoration/remodeling of my very humble abode. I have lots of things I want to do with the Green Party this summer. I want to lose some weight.I want to get serious about bike riding. I want to garden like a happy fool. Eye-witness report of the Tornado touch-down in Newcastle
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
My First Year of Law School is now officially completed
The last 12 hours or so have been rather intense. Last night I left the computer lab at 11:15 p.m. and drove to the Waffle House on I-40 at the MLK exit. I ordered some coffee and a double order of hash browns covered and chunked (Yeah I fell of the Atkins wagon. I hope to be back on it next week though.) and then made flash cards for everything in my mini-outline. I crammed on that until I think 2 or 3, bought an alarm clock at the truckstop next door (I was a bit nervous about oversleeping) and then slept in my car at the truckstop for until 7. I then woke up, drove back to OCU and took a shower at the gym, did my last minute cramming and took the final at 9. The final went better than expected (I'll post a play by play of it later for those of you who are taking Schwartz next year). I know I screwed up 1 of the 6 sections royally but the other sections I feel good about so at least I know I didn't flunk. (Heck, maybe I'll get a C+ which for Schwartz is not bad at all.) So it is over. It feels a bit anti-climactic right now but boy am I glad to be done. P.S. - Thanks K and the rest of you who prayed for me on this one. I really do think it helped. I was more calm for this final than for any of the others amazingly. Tuesday, May 06, 2003
My stupid Property Outline
L-School Update
She was dead on the money then, but I'm starting to freak out now. I'm debating now whether More Dazed and Confused stuff
Dazed and Confused
Yeah for Wal-Mart
Monday, May 05, 2003
Oklahoma City Live Music
Jerry Falwell's big mouth
Random
L-School Update
L-School Update
Well if you're also unable to sleep and worrying about your criminal law final feel free to download my mini-cram outline for Johnson's Criminal Law Class No warranties or guaranties on it. It is very weak and is mostly cut and paste from other outlines. Sunday, May 04, 2003
Random
Visiting a Mennonite Church
OK-IMC Update:
Friday, May 02, 2003
A recent project
The Dixie Chicks
He has some nerve dogging the Dixie Chicks after saying that God allowed the terrorists to attack America because of the work of . . . civil liberties groups, abortion rights supporters and feminists. Sheesh! In contrast, Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks stated a what many reasonable Americans believe. . . that Bush is an embarassment to us all (and not only to Texans but to all of America) Maybe it was in bad taste to say it the way she said it (I frankly don't find it nearly as offensive as what comes out of Ashcroft's mouth everyday.) What Falwell said is vile, and what he is saying now about the Dixie Chicks just makes him look silly and stupid. L-School Update
More Random
Thursday, May 01, 2003
Random
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