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by J. M. Branum

JMBzine.com is a free and independent media outlet protected by the Bill of Rights, First Amendment.

ABOUT ME:
  • 27 yr old male
  • jesus disciple
  • 2d yr. law student
  • peace activist
  • an okie green
  • former austinite
  • writer

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    favorite L-student blogs

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    blogs by L students, Pre-law geeks, and recent L school grads

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    - Tarheel Pundit -
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    - damn the muse -
    - Jeremy's weblog -
    - Jewish Buddha -
    - Liable -
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    - Off the fence -
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    - thelifeoferin -
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    - The Rattler -
    - Santagati.com -
    - beingkate.com -
    - Statonlaw.net -
    - Antioch Road -
    - Volokh -


    Austin blogs

    confessionalism.com
    Bedheaded
    emoomega
    Indieandra
    kaci archer
    goodmorning
    Creamy


    Music I adore

    The Magnetic Fields
    Robert Earl Keen
    The Great Divide
    Madison Greene
    Miranda Stone
    UHQ
    Bill & VOL
    Five Iron Frenzy
    Brave Saint Saturn
    The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
    Belle & Sebastian
    Cake



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    Steve Earle
    Calibretto 13
    Nickel Creek
    Gillian Welch
    S. Austin Jug Band
    Jim's Big Ego
    The Decemberists
    Echoing Green
    Cross Canadian Ragweed
    Guardian
    Finch
    Natalie Merchant
    Rusted Root
    The Asylum Street Spankers
    Barenaked Ladies
    Blues Traveler
    Jimmy Eat World
    Lenny Smith
    Alison Krauss
    Cherokee Nat. Children's Choir
    Delirious
    Duncan Sheik
    Iron Butterfly
    Austin Lounge Lizards
    Bela Fleck
    Bad Faces Clan
    Bob Marley
    Bruce Hornsby
    Fleming and John
    Element 101
    Ballydowse
    The Crossing
    Havalina Rail Company
    Godspeed you...
    Jeff Buckley
    Nick Drake
    They Might Be Giants
    The Beatles
    Guster
    AZX
    Pedro the Lion
    Ani DiFranco
    Bob Dylan
    Hank Williams III
    Junior Brown
    Lucinda Williams
    Weird Al Yankovitch
    Brooke Axtell
    Cross Movement
    Gin Blossoms
    Creed
    Shaded Red
    Waterdeep
    Acapella/AVB
    Eli
    K.C. Clifford
    Stryper
    Randy Thompson
    The Elms
    Superchic[k]
    Joy Electric
    Juliana Theory
    Pep Squad
    The Insyderz
    Save Ferris
    Walela
    O.C. Supertones
    Danielson Familie
    Third Day
    Echoing Green
    Chicago
    The Gypsy Kings
    Fold Zandura
    PFR
    MxPx
    Jimmy Buffett
    Jennifer Knapp
    Rick Altizer
    Bob Wills...
    Luke Brindley
    Blink 182
    Green Day
    Phish
    The Cranberries
    Peter, Paul & Mary
    Mamas and Papas
    John Denver

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    • Sunday, March 30, 2003

    This weekend



      These last few days have been blur.

      The Muskogee protest on Friday was intense. It was everything I thought a protest in "Merle Haggard" country would be and more. It was one of most intense experienes of my life, at least in a political or activist vein. (I'll talk about it more tomorrow on the POLIblog.)

      Friday after the protest I crashed at a friend's house in Holdenville (definitely good to just chill for once). Then Saturday we met up with another friend (both my comrades in peace from C.R.O.P. in Shawnee for the most amazing Italian food I have ever eaten, followed by a good afternoon of joyful politics (which I know sounds like an oxymoron, but it isn't if you're in the Oklahoma Green party. -)

      After the meeting, my CROP buddies and I started wondering about the press coverage in Muskogee. We had a very nice reporter from the Muskogee Phoenix (local daily) who came out to talk to us but the photographer who was there seemed to only take pictures when the anti-peace folks were hostile, so we weren't sure what to expect. So anyway, we decided at a late hour to drive back to Muskogee (1-1/2 hours away) to buy a newspaper. hehehe

      As it turns out, the newspaper article was excellent and the photos did not make us look bad (only the pro-war folks who were shouting in our faces). Best of all, we made the front page!

      So, after that we drove back to Seminole and then I drove to Newcastle arriving at 1 a.m. (which is really funny since I had to preach the next morning!)

      Then after church today, I went to the OKC protest (pictures here)and then back to church for evening. What a weekend! It was good. Very much a learning experience, especially about myself. If there is anything peace activism is teaching me, it is that I can't really advocate for peace effectively, until I am peace with myself and at peace with others. I have so much to learn.



    posted by JMB at 11:18 PM | link |


    Wednesday, March 26, 2003

    OCU Athletics



      I'm not much of a sports fan, but I do gotta give props to the OCU Stars Women's basketball team which is playing its NAIA National Championship game tonight against Southern Nazarene University, in a rematch of last year's national title game. The game start ]s at 8 p.m. and can be viewed at www.okcu.edu in real player format. Also the NAIA will broadcast it play-by-play with 30 second updates at www.naia.org

    posted by JMB at 12:03 PM | link |


    Spring... the ultimate optimist



      Here's my proof that God still cares about this world, even in these times of horror, hatred and destruction...


      Photo from: Excitementmachine.org


      Just to know that the spring of 2003 is this pretty in Austin (the closest place to Heaven on this planet) gives me hope!

    posted by JMB at 11:26 AM | link |


    Tuesday, March 25, 2003

    Music



      Mostly these days I've been listening to music that makes me feel good. I tried listening to some Ani DiFranco music, but it was just too angry for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm very angry about all the crazy stuff that's going down but I don't feel like celebrating it either.

      So, what have I been digging on. Miranda Stone -- Sheesh if she didn't live all the way up there in Toronto I think I would fall head over heals in love with her. She is so stinking cool. Probably my favorite musician lately. Favorite songs of hers lately have been "Non-dysfunctional love song" (a Modern day "Song of Songs" if I ever heard one) and "Seven Deadly Sins."

      Been listening to a lot of Robert Earl Keen and Steve Earle too, along with a fair mix of classic 70's rock on KRXO, especially Leonard Skynard.

      Oh and you can't forget the Dixie Chicks. I dig them even more now. (Take that Rush Limbaugh!)



    posted by JMB at 10:35 PM | link |


    Life



      Well L-school is back on again. (classes started back on Monday). Thus far, school has been more tolerable than it was before the break. Two things have helped my attitude tremendously.

      First, I am learning that I have to keep my eye on the goal. L-school (as intense of an experience as it is) is not the sum all be all of things, but is rather a means to an end. I do think I will enjoy the practice of law. I shouldn't let my disillusionment over the L-school experience sour me on what I hope will be a noble profession when I graduate.

      Secondly, my sanity has been much approved since I dropped LR&W II. I hated to drop a class, but after talking to my prof she concurred that it might be a good idea to drop the class to preserve my GPA. (LR&W was my lowest grade last semester, and this semester it was looking really stinky.) Being free from the albatross of the coming Appelate Brief has helped me so much. --- However, I won't be free from law writing all together, as I will have to start cranking quick on my "note" to get on Law Review. (supposed to get the details on that today) Bleh!

    posted by JMB at 10:24 AM | link |


    Spring Break Photos



      Here are a few pictures my Spring Break trip to Galveston Island, Texas with two of my brothers (brothers #2 &3 in birth order, I'm the oldest of 5.) All in all it was a fantastic trip. Very relaxing. My only regret was that it had to be such a quick trip.

      I think my favorite part about the trip was hanging with my brothers.


      Downtown Houston seen while passing by


      Pictures from the Beach




      This is me in front of a newly opened restaurant on the Sea Wall. It turned out to be an excellent place to eat with generous quantities of incredibly fresh Gulf shrimp.


      The next few shots were taken on board the ferry that runs from Galveston Island to the Bolivar Pennisula






      These last pictures on my side trip (after leaving my brothers on Monday, I took off for a quick day trip to Lawton and the Wichita Mountains National Wildlife Refuge (both in Oklahoma). Most of my time in the mountains was rainy and stormy, but in a way it was good to be down there then. (very different experience than my previous trips there)

      In the first two of these shots, look carefully in the background for buffalo. (they have herds of buffalo, elk, and purebred Longhorn cattle there) The last shot is a closeup of Longhorn cattle walking alongside the road (look for the little calf --- calves are so cute!)








    posted by JMB at 10:23 AM | link |


    Monday, March 24, 2003

    Garden Notes



      For any following my garden's progress, this past week I planted a potatoes, onions, lettuce and spinach. Still focusing on cold weather stuff as we'll probably have another light freeze before April arrives here in Oklahoma.

      My problem now is I am running out of space. I think I may need to build another raised bed or two.

    posted by JMB at 12:09 PM | link |


    Random:




    posted by JMB at 12:07 PM | link |


    Friday, March 21, 2003

    Life



      Mostly I've been writing on the POLIBlog lately due to the recent events in this crazy world, but I did want to say a few things of a more personal nature here.

      One of the things I've learned these last few days is not to pre-judge people. Last night (Wednesday) I did not want to go to church. I don't always go to the midweek service (due to work and school conflicts) but this week I didn't want to go because I was afraid of the remarks people might make about the war. Most folks there I thought were pro-war and a few I feared would be gung-ho about it. (this is a small town you know) I was very concerned if someone made a "kick *** USA" remark that I would not respond back in a kind way.

      Anyway, for whatever reason I changed my mind at the last minute and went and was glad that I did.

      While most of them are for the war they did not think it was a "good" thing, but rather the lesser of two evils. (I disagree with those who feel that way, but respect that point of view, as I know it is one that is not rash or hateful, but rather one that is thoughtful.)

      In the prayers that night, there were of course the prayers for the soldiers (which I would wholeheartedly support... it's not the soldiers fault for this war. I respect the soldiers. It's their commander in chief and the top brass that I do not respect.) but there were also heartfelt prayers for the civilian population of Iraq, and lots of prayers for a quick restoration of peace.

      I think now that I misjudged my congregation. I misjudge people so often regretably but am glad I was wrong in this case.

    • Faith wise, I have been all over the map lately. I do think more and more that even if I can't find the answers I'm looking for intellectually, than I need to trust my heart until my mind is satisfied. More and more, being a Christian seems to me to be about working for peace and justice, and I really do believe in my heart that this is where I should invest my life. There are still so many questions though. So many doubts. I wish things were so complicated right now. I wish I felt as close to God as I once did. I have such a hard time believing in Him these days when so darkness and hatred is encircling the earth.

    • Finally, law school... sheesh I don't anymore and I don't know if I care. The only thing I try to keep reminding myself of, is that I will be of much more service to the peace and jutice movements if I get that stupid law degree and that I know I will enjoy practicing law. Somehow, someway I gotta figure how to keep my sanity though when engaging in the misreable blightful life which is law school.


    posted by JMB at 1:15 AM | link |


    Wednesday, March 19, 2003

    Update



      I now have a new cell phone so I'm back in touch with the world, so if you need to get in touch with me I should be reachable now. Things will be a bit busy the next few days as I'll be busy with peace stuff here. I'll be at the Norman and OKC protests tomorrow (details posts at POLIblog)with a camera so if you're a regular reader be sure and say hi.

    posted by JMB at 10:42 PM | link |


    Back in Oklahoma



      Just to let y'all know I am back from my spring break trip to Galveston and the Wichita Mountains. I'll post more about the trip later but just want to let you know I'm back in town. My phone is still not working right but I should have a replacement phone in a day or two. In the meantime, feel free to leave me messages on my voice mail at that same number.

      Right now things are bit crazy here. I'm working on getting my home in order (a lot of accumulated mess that has built up lately during law school) but also making plans to participate in peace actions these next few days here in OKC. (More about that can be found on POLIBlog)

    posted by JMB at 1:33 PM | link |


    Monday, March 17, 2003

    My favorite Saint



      In honor of St. Patrick's day (I would argue the greatest of all Christian saints. We owe him so much, especially if you are lover of books, culture, or civil liberties.) here is his "Breastplate."

        I arise today
        Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
        Through belief in the threeness,
        Through confession of the oneness
        Of the Creator of Creation.

        I arise today
        Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
        Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
        Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
        Through the strength of his descent for the judgement of doom.

        I arise today
        Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
        In obedience of angels,
        In service of archangels,
        In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
        In prayers of patriarchs,
        In predictions of prophets,
        In preaching of apostles,
        In faith of confessors,
        In innocence of holy virgins,
        In deeds of righteous men.

        I arise today
        Through the strength of heaven:
        Light of sun,
        Radiance of moon,
        Splendor of fire,
        Speed of lightning,
        Swiftness of wind,
        Depth of sea,
        Stability of earth,
        Firmness of rock.

        I arise today
        Through God's strength to pilot me:
        God's might to uphold me,
        God's wisdom to guide me,
        God's eye to look before me,
        God's ear to hear me,
        God's word to speak for me,
        God's hand to guard me,
        God's shield to protect me,
        God's host to save me
        From snares of devils,
        From temptation of vices,
        From everyone who shall wish me ill,
        Afar and a near,
        I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
        Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul
        Against incantations of false prophets,
        Against black laws of pagandom,
        Against false laws of heretics,
        Against craft of idolatry,
        Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
        Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

        Christ to shield me today
        Against poison, against burning,
        Against drowning, against wounding,
        So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.
        Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
        Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
        Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
        Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
        Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
        Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
        Christ in every eye that sees me,
        Christ in every ear that hears me.

        I arise today
        Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
        Through a belief in the threeness,
        Through confession of the oneness,
        Of the Creator of Creation.


    posted by JMB at 9:22 PM | link |


    Friday, March 14, 2003

    One more thing about the previous post



      One last thing... before you think that I'm mad because I got bad grades... I didn't.

      My grades were good. Better than I deserved. To some extent that has actually made things worse, because I realize now that most of what we do in class has ALMOST NOTHING to do with what will be on the exams.

      To prepare for exams, it certainly helps to hear the residue of knowledge from class, but mostly what you need to do is get lots of outlines (both student-made and commercial) and splice them together with you class notes (which are only useful to let you know what topics the profs covered and which ones they left off). Then you make a big outline. After that, you take that outline and turn it into a 1-3 page short outline with the focus being on the rules and citations you need to remember. Finally, you take that short outline and memorize it. On test day you get your scratch paper out and dump that memorized outline on paper. Finally, you answer the questions.

      That is how I prepare for exams. I know other people do different things with success (doing practice exams, etc.) but almost nobody does what the profs told us to do at the beginning of the year... to write detailed briefs of the case and then to somehow glean magically what you need to know from that into this mystical outline that you write yourself, never deigning to look at those nasty prepared outlines. Finally, if you are really stumped about something, you get out a fat (but likely incomprehensible) treatise and spend hours in the library chewing the cud of those who've gone before.

      So, why do the profs tell you to do this? I don't know because it doesn't work and it is a big waste of time.

      OK, far too much ranting for one day. (I think this has been brewing for awhile). Life will be better, at least a little bit as today begins spring break. No studying at all until Wednesday. Hoping to go out of town, maybe to Galveston, maybe to a state park, maybe to jump off a bridge somewhere (just joking on the last part). See y'all in few days.

    posted by JMB at 12:43 PM | link |


    Life of late:



      Regular readers of this blog will probably notice that I haven't talked much about Law school lately.

      The reason is that I have been very depressed about the whole experience. Last semester, I was excited to learn about the law and the opportunities its knowledge would present me. Now, I am turning into the sick and cynical law student that I complained about last semester when talking about 2L's and 3L's.

      I hate law school. I hate it more everyday. It is a dismal and bleak way to live. Every day when I go to class, the only thing that motivates me to study is the fear of getting called on, and even that doesn't scare me like it once did. I just don't care anymore.

      To some extent the subject areas themselves are driving me batty, or more acurately the way that some professors neuter their subjects so that everything interesting or thought-provoking is weeded out and that is left are RULES, RULES, RULES to be memorized, and parsed, and applied.

      But that is not the worst part. The part that offends me the most are the behavior of a few professors. Some of mine are kind but tough profs, who treat everyone fairly as long as you're prepared for class. But others that teach at OCU Law are an embarassment to the legal profession. Frankly I don't see why law profs are given a carte blanche to demean and condescend their students. If a lawyer talked to his or her client the way some of these profs speak to their students, it would be shameful and even self-respecting client would find a new lawyer pronto. Why is that profs can do this with impunity?

      Finally to complete the cycle of disenchantment, I have discovered that OCU Law School will likely increase tuition. The amount isn't nailed down yet, but it sounds more and more like it will be in line with last year's increase of around 10%.

      So, assuming that this trend continues, our tuition will have increased by 20% by the time we graduate! TWENTY PERCENT!!!

      This is inexcusable in a time when the legal profession is morally poor from the lack of lawyers who can afford to defend the poor and oppressed. It is also disturbing in that we are in the middle of an economic downtown (which very well could turn even more sharply downward). There is absolutly no reason why the school should be increasing tuition beyond the rate of inflation in these times. It appears to me that OCU Law is quickly becoming a school for only the rich and elite (many from out of state), while the poor folks who grew up here and want to practice law here are left to fight for the few open spots at OU.

      So, where does that leave me? I could be like the guy in the 70's movie "Network" who yelled, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" But what good would that do?

      Anger doesn't change anything. So, I keep plodding along, hoping that I can transfer to some place more affordable (which will help the money side of things, but won't help the spiritual poverty side of things... from what i hear they have the same abusive style of law instruction and massive work load at OU as well).

      And really does it even matter? With the world going the way it is going, I wonder often if this law school adventure is really just an exercise in futility. I really wonder what I am doing here.


    posted by JMB at 12:35 PM | link |


    Meditations for the Season




    posted by JMB at 11:06 AM | link |


    Quote of the Day:



      God whispers to us in our pleasures,
      speaks to us in our conscience,
      but shouts in our pains;
      it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

      --C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

    posted by JMB at 11:06 AM | link |


    For fans of Kurt Vonnegut:




    posted by JMB at 11:05 AM | link |


    Quote of the Day:



      The hottest fires in hell are reserved for those who remain neutral in times
      of moral crisis       -Edmund Burke

    posted by JMB at 11:01 AM | link |


    Tuesday, March 11, 2003

    Random:




    posted by JMB at 11:51 AM | link |


    Monday, March 10, 2003

    Random:




    posted by JMB at 6:10 PM | link |


    From TVLand:




    posted by JMB at 6:08 PM | link |


    The funniest spam email I've received in some time



      This is too funny...

        Dear Friend

        You have been preselected to join our exclusive companionship service I would like to remind you that this service is free and you can make up to $1000 a week extra cash due to the busiest time of the year for our services. Our clientele includes attractive, upscale, traveling or business women who are in the country for a couple of days, single ladies or bored housewives who just want to spice up their lives. To become a 'High Earning Professional Male Companion' please obtain your username and password at my website:


      Hehehe, I never thought of myself as gigilo, but it sounds like I ought to. $1,000 a week is probably more than I'll make as a lawyer!

    posted by JMB at 6:07 PM | link |


    C.R.O.P. in Guthrie




    posted by JMB at 8:49 AM | link |


    Thursday, March 06, 2003

    Ash Wednesday:



      Yesterday was the first day of Lent. It kinda snuck up on me this year and I frankly don't know how I'm going to observe it. I feel like I really need to observe it some way in these times of madness, to affirm the power of Christ in these our era of biotry, hatred and war.

    • The Daily Texan: Lent --- A growing number of Protestants observe Lent by fasting, abstaining from bad habits

      The story has this quote from one of my old professors at ICS (now Austin Graduate School of Theology):

        According to Allan McNicol, a professor of the New Testament at the Austin Graduate School of Theology, Protestants have begun to incorporate fasting by associating it with the ancient church rather than the Catholic ritual.

        "During the Reformation, there was a resistance to the tradition of the medieval church, particularly on the part of reformists like Calvin," McNicol said. "Fasting is in the Bible. It's an early Christian practice that got sidetracked by the Reformation because it was associated with what Catholics did."

        McNicol said that since the rise of the ecumenical movement - the acceptance and unity between various Christian denominations - hostilities between Protestants and Catholics lessened. He said within the past 10 years there has been a trend to adopt some of the ancient rituals so that modern Protestants can continue ancient Christian tradition.

        "The dominant motivating factor that accounts for the increase in fasting among Protestants is a widespread search for spiritual depth in our culture," McNicol said. "American life is a mile wide and an inch deep. Because of this, the idea of discipline and using this time for reflection and sharing has become more important."


    posted by JMB at 11:19 AM | link |


    U2




    posted by JMB at 11:18 AM | link |


    Random:



    • Cherokee/English Online Dictionary - a very, very useful tool. (wish there weren't so many ads on the site though)

      BTW, using the dictionary I found out that Peace is Tsalagi (Cherokee) is "nv-wa-do-hi-ya-dv." Tsalagi is such a pretty language. I'm so looking forward to summer so I can start studying it again. (yet another thing that Law school robs from my life... I really am hating law school right now if you haven't guessed. It is such a mind-numbing and spirit-robbing endeavor.)

    • UT Austin's Moonlight Prowl - This brought back lots of fond memories of wandering the UT campus at night. It is such a pretty campus. My favorite place at night was to sit on the steps of the Tower looking south down University Avenue at the state capitol all lit up in all its glory.

    • It looks like Starflyer 59 will be in OKC on March 11th at the Green Door w/Hot Hot Heat.

    posted by JMB at 11:18 AM | link |


    Monday, March 03, 2003

    Random:




    posted by JMB at 9:33 PM | link |


    Recent JMBzine Comments:



      Ok, wierdly enough the comments feature works for Netscape but not IE. So anyway I'm going to post them here so all can read them...

      These comments were on the post entitled "This Weekend":


        Blake @ 12:48AM | March 3rd 2003|

        Here's the deal, I totally dug hearing about your dawn to dusk protest... that sounds really cool. I bet it was somewhat hard to keep dedicated when there wasn't a HUGE crowd, lots of enthusiasm, etc. but I bet you have a lot of good memories from it. I am not pro-war or anti-war... I don't claim to have enough knowledge to know what is the "right" thing to do.

        The only thing that does bother me slightly about your article, is how you switched around subjects so much, and eventually ended up ending in what my opinion was a good narritive about your protest, with a wishy-washy viewpoint of homosexuality. Haha, but its your blog, and I love the randomness.

        Darren @ 12:48AM |

        Here's the deal: IT IS POSSIBLE TO HATE THE SIN AND LOVE THE SINNER.... you know how I know... I know because Jesus did it.

        email | website

        Charles @ 12:56AM |

        I believe that every person is an individual.

        And that anyone who claims that either:
        A. all homosexuals can't "help being homosexual" and that they were "born with it,"
        or
        B. That all homosexuals are in affect "fake it" and could stop being gay easily

        are either arrogant, inconsiderate, immature, or just plain dumb.

        I believe some people do simply chose to be gay, others are born with strange tendencies, and still others (I'd say the vast majority) while not born with tendences, simply end up in circumstances (child abuse, loniness, perversion, mental issues, fear, etc) that lead them to a mental state/physical state that makes them at the very least feel as though they have to be gay, are gay, always have been, always will be... and just because something is "in someone's head" doesn't mean its no just as real... if you think mental issues aren't important, just ask someone who is depressed, lonley, mentally insane or just stupid, and you'll see that things in one's head can be just as important as physical stuff, and things you go through can be just as important as what you are born with. Nature vs. Nurture... both are very important.

        seriously dumb @ 12:58AM |

        anyone who thinks that homo's are born that way are re-tard-e-d.... with a capital,, shut up and shut up big fat loser baby, why don't you kill me./

        Noreen @ 10:56AM |

        James as always i enjoy your writing are you sure you want to be an attorney? Remind me to tell you the story of Brian Deneke if you don't know it. I f La ramie made you cry well-have Kleenex. See you at the next Peace Vigil ! This Old Hippie and proud of it -peace


      Here's another kind comment

        Namaste @ 11:05AM | March 3rd 2003| permalink

        we need more young men like James to stand up and speak out from their heart and conscience.The world would be a better place if we had fewer sheep and more border collies to turn a phrase.


      To those of the comments who saw things differently than I did, all I can really tell you is thanks for reading and thinking. That's the most important thing. One thing I would also remind you of is that most thoughts on homosexuality were expresssions of my own personal doubts. As I said earlier, my head and my heart conflict on this one, and I really just don't know what to think. I know this, I find it hard to throw stones at other people when I have such a hard time doing the right thing myself.

      To Noreen and Namaste, thanks for your kind words. :-)

      To the person who calls him/herself "seriously dumb," if you're going to attack what I said at least try to explain your objection to my views. Darren and Charles both gave reasons for their objections, you should be capable of doing the same.

    posted by JMB at 9:01 PM | link |


    Comments on JMBzine.com



      It looks like my comments feature on this blog is not working right. I will be changing to a different comments system if this isn't fixed soon. In the meantime though, if you have any comments you would like to see published on JMBzine about any subjects that are talked about on here, please email your comments to me at jmb(at)jmbzine.com, with "COMMENT" in the subject line. I'll then post your remarks on the blog. (if you sent me comments in the last couple of days, I'm sorry I can't see them. Hopefully they will be recoverable, but if you want to repost them feel free to email me.) Sorry for the inconvenience.

    posted by JMB at 7:43 PM | link |


    Today:



    • Another gloriously wonderful day in Oklahoma City. Hope is springing up!

      I gotta get cracking on my stupid LR&W trial brief due tomorrow but first I gotta share these photos taken at today's rally against Ron Kirby's racist English-only law Several of us Greensters were there including Alice (who organized the shindig and was the emcee), Brian (fellow RuralGreen), Mark (from the Cleveland County & OU Green party chapters) and Rachel (fellow RuralGreen who gave a bomb-digity speech on behalf of the Oklahoma Green party).

      What was most thrilling about the day was seeing the Hispanic and American Indian communities united in this cause, and also in hearing so many speakers of Indian languages speaking out the truly native languages of Oklahoma. (It was almost a spiritual experience to hear those beautiful words uttered)

    posted by JMB at 7:25 PM | link |


    Sunday, March 02, 2003

    This weekend:



      A lot of this post is political in nature, but since it's more of a personal journal entry I'm putting it here instead of the Political blog.

      The last few days have been blur, but a good one.

      After getting off work at OCU late Friday night, I drove to Seminole to crash with some friends from the Rural Greens. The next day we all drove to Shawnee for first event of the Caravan of Rural Oklahomans, the Shawnee Joyful Jamboree for Peace.

      The three of us got to the park in Shawnee at 9 a.m. It was nasty cold (not as bad as it had been, but still plenty cold) but we finally got ourselves psyched up and set up our protest at the busiest intersection bordering the park.

      The first hour or so was a little bit of a bummer. We were glad that we were there but were also wondering if we would stick it out until dusk.

      Then everything changed, when a middle-aged American indian man came to visit with us. He told us it really encouraged him to see us out there and said that he had been an actvist when he was young. (His stories of direct action protests against the BIA were incredibly inspiring.)

      After he left, a local attorney (and an OCU alum) joined us. He had heard about our event from his mom on email and wanted to join us. He stayed with us for awhile and was later replaced by a local college student who had recently moved here from the Sacramento, CA area. This guy was a welcome sight, not only for his presence but also because he brought his boombox (with Bela Fleck and Flecktones cued up). There was such a good vibe about him.

      Throughout the rest of the afternoon other folks would join us. Some would just come by to talk, others to stand with us in solidarity. We had a broad range of ages, ethnicitities, and genders represented. All together we had about 15 folks participate in our come and go, sunlight to sunset protest.

      Of course, passing drivers responded as well. Probably 3/4 of those who responded were friendly, either waving, giving a thumb's up, or flashing the peace sign. The best responses were always from the kids (such a sign of hope to see those kids wave, especialy hen their parents are scowling at us) About 1/4 of the responses were negative.

      A couple of the more interesting neutral remarks were:

    • A man pulls in front of us, gets out of his car and yells to us..."Are y'all Christians?" --- I yell back, "Yes!" (but really should have said only, "I am" as I'm don't know if everyone else present would have answered that the same way.) --- The man looks dejected and says, "ok," gets back in this truck and drives off. What I keep wondering about, is what would have happened if we said "No!" or if we said, "No, we're Muslims!" The whole thing was very, very odd.

    • Talking about religion we had several interesting encounters with devout Christians of a fundamentalist (maybe charismatic/pentecostal too) The first of them was a woman who talked to us for a long while, urging us to study everything on this war (implying that we had not) and that she didn't know if she supported us or not but she would be praying for us. (which is cool)

    • Another person walked up and asked each of us seperately whether we were pro-life or not. We each gave our responses (a fairly broad range of viewpoints represented.) This woman then proceeded to tell those who were pro-life that they had a right to be there but that the pro-choicers did not because they were hypocrites.

      We went back and forth with her some (I told her it goes both ways, and that I think pro-lifers should be anti-war if they want to be consistently non-violent.) Finally before leaving she told a pro-choice person that "I'm sorry, you do have a right to your opinion if you pay taxes." (hehehe, of course that leaves us thinking that if you're a homeless unemployed slacker, you're screwed. No rights for you.)

      Here were some of the negative/hateful things said to us...

    • "Nuke them all and let Allah sort them out."

    • "F-ing Hippies" (said while flipping us off)

    • "What will you do when they drop that s*** on us!?" --- I think the funny thing is the author of that utterance seemed to have no clue how Saddam would drop his **** on us, since Saddam doesn't have any B-52's in the hangar, and certainly no aerial refueling capabilities to make it half way around the world.

    • The bothersome remark was from a very angry lady in a giant SUV with her young daughter sitting in the passenger seat. She actually stopped her car in the middle of the intersection and said through the window, "Do you like living in this country?"

      We said, "Yes."

      I don't remember all of her exact words in her reply, but she said something along the lines of that she fought for the rights of people like us. (I wish I could remember her exact words but the main thing that stands out was the venomous hate as she reached across her daughter to point her finger angrily at us.)

      I then yelled at her, "It's called the first amendment."

      She yelled back, "I know what it is" but then went on to explain how we don't know anything and that we have no right to our views on war.

      At this point, one of my friends had enough and said, "You have no idea what you're talking about."

      The angry driver replied, "I know everything!" and sped away.

      That whole interchange was incredibly disturbing. Partially it upset because that lady was so, so hateful and took our very presence in such a hateful way. It also upset me though because I saw how angry I was becoming at her for the things she said. I doubt I ever would have been violent in that anger, but I would say that the anger that bubbled up was not a good thing. Most of all I was upset that her daughter saw her mom respond so hatefully towards us.

      It is so hard to know how to respond in these situations. Most of the time when people said mean stuff to us we would either just ignore them, or sometimes wave and say, "We love you!" (which really freaks them out to say the least)

      But in the case of the angry SUV-driver, her anger was so personal and so directed at us, it was hard to not respond back with anger. I don't know how one should respond really. Should we defend ourselves if someone is defaming us or just take it?

      Lots of questions, but not very many answers.

    • Anway around 5 p.m. we packed up our stuff and headed to Abuelita's for some yummy Mexican food. We all were sore and cold (my feet were numb hours later) but the food did help. After that we drove back to Seminole to my friend's house to chill out. We ended up watching the HBO movie The Laramie Project, a movie that told the story of the brutal killing of Matthew Shephard in Laramie, WY, and its aftermath. I had seen an earlier MTV movie on this incident but the Laramie Project was much better.

      The movie didn't try to recreate what happened like the MTV movie did, but instead was a portrayal of a NYC theatre group who spent a year in Laramie interviewing folks in the comunity. The script was based on the actual words of those interviewed.

      It is hard to put into words how that movie touched me. I am not one to cry in movies, but this one... oh my... I am having problems finding the words here... I guess it is still too fresh to explain adequately.

      I guess the parts of the movie that were the most moving were of the local gay man who told of the growing crowd who marched in Matthew's memory at the end of the Univ. of Wyoming homecoming parade, and also the absolute horror of that evil hateful bigoted man, Fred Phelps who actually dared to picket at Matthew's funeral and trial. As a Christian, I just kept being rivted over and over and over, to hear that awful man using scripture to say such awful things about Matthew. It just seemed so horrible, and especially to see the little kids holding the hate signs was so just too much. It was hate breeding hate, generation after generation.

      Of course, that wasn't the end of the story (which I won't go into here because I don't want to ruin the story) but let's just say that the people of Laramie responded loud and clear against Phelps in an incredible act of love for Matthew's family.

      And finally of course the trial, when Matthew's father presented a statement in the sentencing stage asking that Matthew's killer be given two consecutive life sentences instead of death. At that point I could not control my emotions anymore.

      The movie has left me aching inside and questioning so much. One of the things I shared with my friends that night was that I feel like my head and my heart are at war with each other. My head knows the clearness of scripture concerning homosexuality and the importance of the "love the sinner, hate the sin" thing, yet to me it troubles me how that attitude was likely a part of what led Matthew's killers to kill.

      I don't know. It all seems whack to me. Straight men like myself find it easy to judge gay men and say they should change, yet at the very same time we keep on lusting after women and having sex with them in our mind. Then most of the time, when we do have actual sex it is either a selfish act of self-gratification or it is an exploitative act of using someone else. And what is messed up is that we can't (or rather don't) control ourselves. I'm not saying it is impossible to exercise self-control, but rather just that we don't change our behavioral patterns. We keep doing the same old thing, over and over and over.

      So, I'm left with more questions... Why did God give human beings such strong sexual urges if he doesn't want us to use them outside of marriage (which right now doesn't seem to be in the cards for me)? Why do some people have strong sexual orientations that don't line up with the norm? Did God mess up or did He make them that way?

      Most of all, how can you "love the sinner, hate the sin" and not in effect hate the sinner, since sexuality is such a deeply rooted part of who we are as human beings.

    • OK, that's enough theological questioning. I'll probably return to that topic later. Anyway, that was my weekend. Today (Sunday) has been ok. I need to get busy pronto on my latest major project for LR&W which I very much dread. Not nearly enough time left for that puppy since it is due on Tuesday.

    posted by JMB at 6:23 PM | link |


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