This is a blog. It has existed in other forms but now exists as a place for me to scrawl my thoughts and to share websites that I find interesting. By the way, if you don't like what I have to say, you can kiss my Bill of Rights.

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    JMBZINE is the zine/blog of James Matthew Branum. JMBzine has been through many lives but now exists as a place for me to share my passion in my varied interests with my friends and the public.

    As of April 2, 2002 JMBzine consists of three thematic blogs which can be accessed through the links above. For pre-April 2, 2002 content, please use the archival links on the left column of this page.





    Friday, December 07, 2001
    Latest news of note:

    • The attorney general defended the administration's antiterrorism proposals and accused some critics of aiding terrorists

      Our fascist Attorney General John Ashcroft, out-aschcrofted even himself by some of his statements yesterday before the Senate Judiciary committee. Here are some excerpts:

        WASHINGTON, Dec. 6 — In forceful and unyielding testimony, Attorney General John Ashcroft today defended the administration's array of antiterrorism proposals and accused some of the program's critics of aiding terrorists by providing "ammunition to America's enemies."

        Emboldened by public opinion surveys showing that Americans overwhelmingly support the administration's initiatives against terrorism, Mr. Ashcroft told the Senate Judiciary Committee, "To those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: your tactics only aid terrorists."

        WRONG! This is so sick. Accusing critics of "aiding terrorists" is a low-blow and he knows it. If you want to know the truth... Ashcrofts fascist actions are aiding terrorists. Not in the sense of direct aid, but in that he is helping them achieve what terrorism is designed to do... destroy freedom. The terrorists behind the WTC & Pentagon attacks hate America and the freedom we have here. Their attack was an attempt to destroy those things, but were unsuccessful until now.

        Senator Russell D. Feingold, the Wisconsin Democrat who has been the Senate's most resolute critic of the administration's antiterror proposals, quickly took on Mr. Ashcroft over his testimony that criticism of the administration "gives ammunition to America's enemies, and pause to America's friends." He asked the attorney general if the series of Senate hearings culminating in today's session was somehow aiding the enemy.

        Mr. Ashcroft blandly replied that he welcomed the Senate hearings as proper oversight. "We need reasoned discourse as opposed to fear- mongering," he said. "This is the place where reasoning and discourse take place."

        Ok, Mr. Ashcroft... which way is it? Is criticism and oversight helping the enemy or not? You need to make up your mind you little weasel.

        Senator Richard J. Durbin, Democrat of Illinois, said that Mr. Ashcroft was exquisitely sensitive to the Second Amendment's right to bear arms while he was arguing for flexibility on other constitutional guarantees. ..

        Mr. Leahy said Congressional oversight was not "as some have mistakenly described it, to protect terrorists. "It is to protect ourselves as Americans and protect our American freedoms."

        Thank you Mr. Leahy. Remember folks, your right to a fair trial if you are falsely accused, is only as secure as the right of the most heinous of criminals to get a fair trial.

        The only explicit assurance Mr. Ashcroft gave about the scope of the tribunals was that they would be used only for war crimes. In defending the tribunals, he said, "When we come to those responsible for this, say who are in Afghanistan, are we supposed to read them the Miranda rights, hire a flamboyant defense lawyer, bring them back to the United States to create a new cable network of Osama TV or what have you, provide a worldwide platform from which propaganda can be developed?"

        Of course an accused terrorist should be read his miranda rights! And yes, he or she should get a flamboyant lawyer! What other kind of lawyer would you want him to have, an incompetent lawyer that won't fight hard for their client?

        Remember folks when Ashcroft says things like this, read between the lines. If the thinks accused terrorist don't deserve miranda rights and competent legal representation, then he probably doesn't support those same rights for accused child molesters, murderers, or drug dealers either. He is showing ever so clearly his fascist leanings with statements like this.

        Frankly I don't understand why John Ascroft became Attorney General if he has so little respect for the criminal justice system.

        Mr. Ashcroft also provided a warning for John Walker Lindh, the American captured in Afghanistan fighting alongside the Taliban, saying that while he would not be tried by a military tribunal, "I would say very clearly that history has not looked kindly upon those that have forsaken their countries to go and fight against their countries, especially with organizations that have totally disrespected the rights of individuals, that make women objects of scorn and derision, that outlaw education."

        I'm glad to hear that Ashcroft is going to bring Walker to a fair trial and not one the secret kangaroo courts.

        Mr. Ashcroft's comments describing criticism of the administration as aiding the enemy produced angry rebuttals from several civil liberties groups. In one example, Ralph G. Neas, the president of People for the American Way, said Mr. Ashcroft was trying to intimidate his critics into silence.

        "Smothering dissent is not the American way," Mr. Neas said.

        Amen to that!



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    Thursday, December 06, 2001
    Latest news of note:
    • Newsweek: ‘If He Wants to Die, He’s Going to Die Here’ --- Just hours before his death, CIA agent Mike Spann interviewed John Walker, the American Taliban - This story is an excerpt of the CIA Agent Spann's questioning of American Taliban figher John Walker.

      IF this is account is true (I say "if" because there's so much propaganda being poured out these days it's hard to know who's telling the truth.), then Walker's actions are very bad. The fact that he refused to identify himself or his nationality (required by the Geneva convention) at this point, but will later tell a reporter after the prison revolt that he is an American citizen bothers me a lot. It seems like he's only an American when it is advantageous to be.

      I think Walker should be prosecuted for his participation in the prison revolt and for his involvement with the Taliban . . . but in a fair trial in the United States. (assuming he is in US custody, if he's not then it'll be up to the laws of the current rulers of Afghanistan) Even alleged traitors like this deserve a fair trial.

    • NY Times: Surrender is slated to being on Friday

    • NY Times: Congress takes advantage of war situation to sneak fast-track approval through!!! (I rewrote this headline because frankly it has slipped under the radar of most of the very, very pathetic media. Here is a quote from the story...

        WASHINGTON, Dec. 6 — The House of Representatives handed President Bush a major triumph late this afternoon, approving greater global-trading authority for the president by a razor-thin margin.

        The Vote was 215 to 214 and followed a late plea by Speaker J. Dennis Hastert to back a commander in chief who is leading the fight against terrorism.

        "This Congress will either support our president who is fighting a courageous war on terrorism and redefining American world leadership, or we will undercut this president at the worst possible time," Mr. Hastert said.

        Some Democrats complained that it was unfair to cast the debate so that a vote in favor was patriotic and a vote against was not, but in the end House Republicans prevailed.

        The measure now goes to the Senate and, while few things are certain in Washington, vote-counters say it has enough support to pass in that chamber. Senator Tom Daschle of South Dakota, the Democratic majority leader, has said no action is likely in the Senate until after the holidays.


      Frankly, this is yet another example of the global agenda to bring corporate dominance to the globe. Casting fast-track in patriotic terms like this is disgusting, and immoral, but that doesn't matter anymore. Remember folks, we're a nation at war and all of the values that we hold in peace time (you know old-fashioned things like civil rights, fair trials, and deliberative democracy) are out the window. We got beat those Taliban even if we have to kill freedom to do it!

    • Indymedia.org: Read the latest on "fast-track" and protests concerning it here


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    Latest news of note:

    • MSNBC: Senate heats up the grill for Ashcroft

    • NY Times: Ashcroft Appears Before Senate to Defend Tactics

        On the subject of the previous two linked stories, I've been catching part of fascist AG John Ashcroft's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee. In the part that I saw, Senator Thurmond gave his pathetic unconditional support for Ashcroft, Senator Leahy ask tough questions and not let Ashcroft get away with any B.S., and Senator Kennedy grill Ashcroft on why his Injustice department is denying the FBI access to firearms purchase records (Ashcroft says he is just following the letter of the law. Yeah, right.) and also tried to get him to say if he would support a change in the law. Ashcroft being the weasel that he is dodged the second question.

        I'm glad that the Senate is bringing this to the forefront, but sadly it looks like there is little that can be done to stop it.


    • NY Times: Middle East Detainee Conducts Hunger Strike

        WASHINGTON, Dec. 5 — The American Civil Liberties Union and other groups sued in Federal District Court here today to force Attorney General John Ashcroft to disclose the names of the 553 people held in custody on immigration violations.

        Mr. Ashcroft has refused to list the names, citing several reasons, including saying it would help Osama bin Laden learn whether his operatives had been detained.




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    Wednesday, December 05, 2001
    Music note:

    Listening to the new Five Iron Frenzy album, Electric Boogaloo. I am really digging this. FIF seems to be pretty squarely in the rock with horns camp, but I don't mind. Lyrically, it is extremely strong... a good sequel to their last album, but with less silly songs. (I like their silly live shows, but the silly songs on the albums can get old after awhile.) This album is very political, and rivals the activist stance of their last one.

    I highly recommend it.

    Also, I found a nifty FIF fan page: www.geocities.com/fiffansunite/


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    Latest news of note:



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    Journal Note:

    OK, remember what my last "Journal note" said. I'm now convinced it was the Lord that made my car break down.

    I got a lift today to get to the car repair shop. Guess what they told me... "Well you're car is running. We don't know why, but it just started today." And then, they told me since they couldn't figure out what made it die like that it was FREE!

    Now tell me that God wasn't up to something there!


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    Latest news of note:

    • NY Times: Bush defends wartime call for tribunals - Here's one juicy excerpt:

        Mr. Sunstein said that there might be some restriction on a defendant's knowledge of the basis of the charges against him in "those narrow circumstances" when providing it would compromise legitimate security interests.

      How in the **** can a defendant's counsel defend his or her client if they don't even know what the client is charged with?! How in the world is this justice?


    Journal Note:

    Frankly the last few days I've been a bit depressed. Partly it's the state of the world... I guess I spend too much time reading the NY Times to keep up with the death of liberty and the growing enlargement of the global war. (Is it too soon to call it WWIII? Who knows?) Things keep seem to be expanding, more and more bloodshed, more and suffering.

    Then here, the economy is crashing. A year ago I thought a "correction" would be a good thing, a chance to level the playing field so the little guy could have chance. Instead, it's the little guy that gets screwed. I see it first hand in my job as a pedi-cab driver as the tips get less and less ($50 on Friday night was my take-home! Six months ago I averaged $150 on a weekend night.) Across the board, whether it's Enron employees, journalists at AOL/Time Warner, resteraunt employees, it's getting worse and worse.

    And then, that's compounded with my loneliness. I'm not afraid of solitude, in fact I need my solitary time to stay sane, but loneliness is different than solitude.

    To be lonely is to be alone, to not have someone to share your life with, to not have someone to be loved by.

    I guess all of this emotional turmoil got stirred up by reading the book "Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community" by Wendell Berry. This book is an intellectual grenade and rocked my entire paradigm. Strangely enough, it confirmed for me why I am moving to the farm (you can read more about my upcoming move at pineridgeoklahoma.com) but also made me question a lot of things, most notably being in love.

    When I read Berry's essays on love I was struck with the fact that I have never experienced the truest form of love before. I have been "in love" a few times before, and might even be "in love now", but never have I experienced what Berry described.

    It is hard to put this in words, but when Berry described that true sensual love is about the eyes more than anything, I was... I can't describe it. I was literally blown away when he described true lovemaking... when one looks into the eyes of your beloved and you both feel so small in the face of what is much greater in the union of the two.

    Reading those words (I'll post some quotes from the book later.) made my heart yearn for that true kind of love, and made me realize that I am very alone. I have a few friends, even a romantic interest (as in I'm interested in her. Nothing thus far would indicate that she sees as more than a friend, but I haven't been completely rebuffed either... ok, reality says there is no hope, but in my sad state of alone-liness, it is hard to give hope all together), but true love...no.

    Anyway, the reason I am writing this down is because today my car broke down. (Hang with me here.) Nothing major as far as I know, but I did have to get it towed to the repair shop so they can put in a new alternator or whatevery is wrong with it. Anyway, where I'm going with this, is that I ended up having to walk home from the repair shop tonight (they won't be able to fix it until the morning). The walk wasn't bad, just rather long...maybe an hour or so.

    As I began my walk, a thought came to me... maybe God orchestrated this breakdown to get my attention and force me to have a long walk and talk to Him.

    So I did talk to Him. At first the words were awkward, but soon I was pouring out my heart. I told Him how alone I feel and how much I yearn for true love. As I shared this with Him, I also felt sad that I don't have that depth of yearning for His love. Yet, in this time of prayer the Lord revealed more than anything his unknowability (to lack a better word). Loving a woman, while sometimes difficult, is easier than loving God. It is sad in a way, but also true. For whatever reason God is both intimate and personal, but also very mysterious and unknowable. More than anything tonight I saw the mystery of who He is, and that for whatever reason that I'll never understand, He will not reveal Himself completely to me. He wants me to seek Him, but never completely reach Him.

    I also saw that my need for a wife is a mystery too. Why such a human need would be so important is beyond my understanding. In practical terms, I don't understand why that yearning is so much stronger than the yearning I have for God, and yet part of it is, that God doesn't want my seeking of Him to be too easy. He wants me to be a pilgrim on a difficult and sometimes obscured path to Him.

    In the end, I did feel that the depression had lifted some, but now that it is a few hours later it is still there. That is a mystery too, and is too far beyond what I can understand.

    Enough of my thoughts for now. I hope you (my reader) do not mind this departure from my usual political news and commentary. Everyone once in awhile it helps me to share these with someone. (If you don't want to read these kinds of posts, skip any that have the headline "Journal note.")


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    Monday, December 03, 2001
    Opinions worth considering:


    • NY TImes: The Witch Hunt by Bob Herbert is one of the best editorials I have read on the subject of civil liberties. Read it. You'll be glad you did.

    • MSNBC: Using history as a cudgel
      - by Jonathan Alter is an interesting dicussion on the debates on civil liberties. The author says that the old left-right paradigm doesn't hold up, and rather should be described as "Civil libertarians" vs. Civil securitarians (a word coined by Bush himself)

      What I found most interesting is this recounting of past civil rights abuses in times of war:

        Throughout U.S. history, the most common response to threats to national security has been to clamp down on free speech:

        The Alien and Sedition Act of 1796 (enacted under John Adams and repealed under Thomas Jefferson) made it a federal crime to falsely criticize the government. During the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln suspended the writ of habeas corpus (which allows judges to demand that detainees be charged and tried, not just imprisoned) and threw critical Northern congressmen and newspaper editors in jail. During World War I, Congress made it a federal crime to criticize the war effort and the draft, and dissidents were jailed. At the height of the Cold War in the 1950s, some people were sentenced to jail just for studying Marx and Lenin...

        The misuses of history emerge more clearly when it comes to detainees and their rights. The Bush administration points to Lincoln for justification. Attorney General John Ashcroft’s first proposed anti-terrorism bill called for suspension of the writ of habeas corpus (that was rejected by Congress) and the now-famous executive order of November 13 is so broad that it achieves the same end by fiat. The other precedent offered is Franklin Roosevelt’s military tribunal for eight Nazi saboteurs caught on American shores during World War II....


    I guess Solomon was right. Nothing is new under the sun.


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    Latest news of note:

    • Wired.com: Why copyright laws hurt culture (Thanks to winterspeak.com for alerting me to this story.

        DUBLIN, Ireland -- American copyright laws have gotten so out of hand that they are causing the death of culture and the loss of the world's intellectual history, according to Stanford technology law professor Lawrence Lessig.

        Copyright has bloated from providing 14 years of protection a century ago to 70 years beyond the creator's death now, he said, and has become a tool of large corporations eager to indefinitely prolong their control of a market. Irving Berlin's songs, for example, will not go off copyright for 140 years, he said....


    • Newsweek: He's a really good boy: The parents of the American Talib describe their son - This young man needs to be brought to justice in a fair trial in the United States, not in a secret military tribunal. What he allegedly did by joining the Taliban was evil and wrong, but that does not negate the requirement for a fair trial.

    • Washington Post: Next target: al-Qaida ‘sleeper cells,’ U.S. to focus on terror threat as Afghan effort winds down

    • MSNBC: Sharon pledges to win war on terror: In blunt message to Arafat, Israel strikes targets at Gaza HQ - It looks like WWIII is raging on. The fronts may be changing, but the war is far from over.

    • MSNBC: Afghan talks make slow progress

    • MSNBC: Debit-card use outstrips credit cards

    • Newsweek: Justice kept in the dark - This is one of the best comprehensive stories on how justice has been twisted and denied to the detaineees. Here are a few notable exceprts:

        MORE HUMILIATION was to follow. He was thrown into a cell in Passaic, N.J., with nearly three dozen other men. The men, all Muslims, asked to hold on to their food trays so they could observe the Ramadan fast and eat after sundown. The guard wasn’t having any of it. “I don’t care about f—king Ramadan,” the turnkey said. The U.S. government never filed any charges against Irshaid. After three weeks, he was finally released. Irshaid says he was so happy he would have jumped for joy, had he not still been shackled and chained in leg irons. “This doesn’t change my love of America,” he told NEWSWEEK. “But with all due respect to Mr. Ashcroft, if somebody wants to accuse you of something, they should tell you what it is.” ...

      The next excerpt shows the likelihood that the CIA is already using torture as a means to extract information. This is vile and shows that America has become rank in its hypocrisy. The nation I knew and loved would never tolerate this kind of behavior. I don't the founding fathers would recognize what Ashcroft's minions are doing.


        According to a senior Arab intelligence official, the Qataris “asked the Americans, ‘Where should we send this guy?’ ” The answer was, not the United States. The man was sent to Jordan instead. The Jordanians have been good about sharing intelligence with the United States. The CIA prefers not to ask how the Jordanians obtain that intelligence. ...

      The next excerpt is a case of prison brutality. It is not exceptional (this happens every day in prisons across are land), except that the guards were aware of it and even allowed it to take place for a considerable amount of time before intervening. I think the guards and prisoners involved should be standing trial for this, but that won't happen because this is America and the rights of prisoners are worth less than a counterfeit penny in the eyes of Uncle Sam.


        Some of the 1,200 men swept up in the FBI’s dragnet since September 11 feel as though they might as well have been sent to a Third World dungeon. On Sept. 18, Hasnain Javed, 20, a Pakistani national who lives with his aunt in Houston, was on his way back to Queensborough College in New York to study computer information systems. In Alabama, he was pulled off the bus by the federal Border Patrol, who discovered that Javed was carrying an expired visa. They sent him to a county jail in Wiggins, Miss., where he was put in a cell with 10 other inmates. What happened next was out of a bad movie.

        One inmate, perhaps kindly, perhaps coldly, suggested that he better ring for the guard. Javed rang the bell, but it went unanswered for more than 20 minutes. During that time, several inmates beat him severely, breaking one of his teeth, fracturing a couple of ribs and rupturing his eardrum. As they kicked and pummeled the Pakistani youth, they jeeringly called him “bin Laden.” Then they stripped him naked and beat him some more. “I was crying and telling them I had nothing to do with it,” said Javed. “They were kicking me and punching me and pinned my head to the floor.” Finally, four guards arrived—and watched. Struggling to his feet, Javed begged for help, and at last the officers stopped the beating. Javed was put into solitary confinement and eventually released on $5,000 bail. He is now so traumatized he is afraid to appear in public. “I’ve never felt this way,” he told NEWSWEEK. “I go out and worry if someone is looking at me funny. If I see a police officer, I wonder if he is going to say something to me, question me.”


      This final excerpt from this accounting of evils conducted in the name of freedom and justice is of Dr. Al-Hazmi. He ended up better than most since he knew his rights and refused to speak to the cops until he had a lawyer present. Still, what happened to him was shameful and wrong.


        On Monday, Sept. 24, (Dr. Al-Hazmi) was released, without his glasses or clothes, in blue jail pants and a black top. He went home to San Antonio. He is thinking about quitting his job at University Hospital, where he is now treated with suspicion by some colleagues, and moving back to Saudi Arabia. He says he is not angry at the U.S. government. “Forgiveness is one of the principles of Islam,” he told NEWSWEEK. But he worries about his children. His son, 8, cried all time while he was in custody and still does not seem quite right. His daughter, 6, said to him, “You were in jail.” His eyes filling with tears, Al-Hazmi says, “How can you explain to innocent kids what happened? I’m embarrassed, ashamed to explain.” ... .


    • AP: Strikes an Apparent Response to Weekend's Wave of Bombings

        GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) -- Israeli helicopter gunships struck a security compound near Yasser Arafat's headquarters with missiles Monday, destroying two of his helicopters. Prime Minister Ariel Sharon announced a war on terrorism and blamed the Palestinian leader for anti-Israeli attacks.

        Israeli F-16 warplanes struck in the West Bank city of Jenin, hitting police building, Palestinian officials said. The strikes were Israel's first retaliation for Palestinian suicide bombings in two Israeli cities and a gun attack that killed 26 people over the weekend.

        In a televised address, Sharon did not say what further steps would be taken but announced a ``war on terrorism'' and said Arafat had chosen ``a strategy of terror.''

        ``Arafat is responsible for everything that is happening,'' Sharon said ahead of a Cabinet meeting that was expected to decide on the Israeli response...


      My question is this... why is violence considered "a response to terrorism" or "an act of war" when a western state commits it, but is considered "terrorism" when a third world nation or group does it? I think violence is always wrong, so don't take this as a defense for the actions of the Palestinians. What I am saying is that the US and Israel are doing the very same things they condemn in others... inflicting military strikes with no concern for civilian casualties.

    • NY Times: An Inventor Unveils His Mysterious Personal Transportation Device - very, very interesting. What I find most promising is this line...

        At an average speed of 8 miles an hour, or three times walking pace, Mr. Kamen says the Segway can go 15 miles on a six- hour charge, for less than a dime's worth of electricity from a standard wall socket..

      What that would mean in practical terms is that one could travel for 150+ miles on a dollar's worth of electricity, as compared to 20-30 miles on a dollar's worth of gas (at today's prices)

      However, having to stand up when riding this doesn't seem that attractive to me. The speed is comparable to that of a bicycle, and the cost is much higher. I would assume that a battery-powered personal mobility devise would popular among the elderly or those who find bicycling tiring, however those same people wouldn't want to stand up to ride it.

      The idea is interesting, but overall I think it is an expensive gizmo that does not compare with the utility of a bicycle.

      Also here is another story on it from MSNBC. (The two stories differ in what they say are the top speeds of the Segway vehicle.)

    • NY Times: Calls for New Push Into Iraq Gain Power in Washington

    • NY Times: Canada Altering Its System of Vigilance Against Terror

    • NY Times: Spy, citing fears, fights return to China

    • NY Times: A Backyard That Belongs to No One and Everyone

    • NY Times: Couple killed in East Harlem; 6 others are slain in NYC in last 24 hours


    NEW! - Post your response here

    Sunday, December 02, 2001
    Links:


    NEW! - Post your response here

    Latest news of note:
    • The Telegraph: Britain asked to prepare strikes against terror bases in Somalia

    • MSNBC: Excite@Home told to end service

    • Net gently weeps for Beatle Harrison

    • Japan royal birth stirs talk of return to Empress

    • NY Times: U.S. bombs strike 3 villages and reportedly kill scores

        "Civilized countries talk about human rights and then they bomb us," said a village elder, Muhammad Tahir. "Give my message to the Pentagon: This is our village. This is our only place for living."

        The Pentagon has not made an attempt to account for the deaths of civilians, save to say that it regrets any unintended deaths. No national government, health service or rescue force exists in Afghanistan. There are very few functioning hospitals. Survivors in isolated villages are cut off from communication with the outside world. They bury their dead as quickly as possible.


    • Tribunal comparison taints courts-martial, military lawyers say

    • NY Times: 25 Israelis killed by suicde attacks

    • NY Times: (AP) Afghan villagers say 200 killed

    • NY Times: Ashcroft and Leahy battle over expanding police powers

    • MSNBC: An ‘Unapologetic’ Ashcroft: Tough and unrepentant, the attorney general defends the nationwide dragnet, and puts terrorists on notice

        On the use of military tribunals to try terrorists:

        The president should have the right to protect innocent American lives by trying alien war criminals with military commissions ... [Trying them in regular courts means] having to give them Miranda rights, giving them a flamboyant defense attorney at public expense, developing “Osama TV” or a public trial used to propagandize to the world, a trial in which ... our sources would be unnecessarily identified in the midst of a war or conflict, where the courthouse becomes a terrorist target, where members of the jury become terrorist targets. This is a tool that the president should have in the arsenal of democracy designed to thwart and to counter the terrorist war on the United States.


    • LA Times: A Worthy Cause, for Heaven's Sake - An op-ed piece that questions the disgusting behavior of the folks behind the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

        I learned from The Times' Hot Property column on Sunday that Costa Mesa-based televangelists Jan and Paul Crouch have purchased a $5-million "palatial estate" with nine bathrooms, a climate-controlled wine cellar, an elevator, six-car garage and tennis court.

        I quote now from the story: "Jan Crouch had been wanting a bigger yard for her dogs, sources said." . . .

        Speaking of deep pockets, the Crouches were unavailable when I rang. A receptionist referred me to their attorney in Washington, D.C.

        Colby May claims we had it wrong. The Crouches didn't buy the $5-million house, the ministry did. And the Crouches don't intend to move into it, May insists. It's for use by overseas guests who visit the ministry.

        Oh. I didn't realize there were no hotels in Orange County.

        May couldn't explain why Hot Property was told that Jan Crouch wanted more room for her dogs. But regardless of who ends up in the $5-million Glory Be compound, I asked May if the Crouches might like to get involved with the L.A. Times Holiday Campaign.

        Sure thing, he said. Just get them an application form.

        I explained that there was no form. All they have to do is write us a check and send it along.

        This seemed to confuse him.

        "We're going to send you money?" he asked.

        Yeah, I said. To help needy children.

        May had thought I was asking if the Trinity ministry would like to receive funds from the Holiday Campaign, not give to it.

        God almighty, they've got one-track minds.

        I suggested that if they're buying $5-million houses, they don't need any more money.

        "We always need money," he said, to teach "the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

        I refuse to believe that Jan and Paul Crouch would pass up a chance to do the Lord's work by sending a check to the L.A. Times Family Fund. From their own Web site--where "Holy Land Anointing Oil" is available in the online gift shop ($4.99, while it lasts)--comes this quote from Jesus: "I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he shall be saved. . . ."

        The Crouches' loyal followers might also consider helping a neighbor this year. Any money they send to Trinity could end up paying the air-conditioning bill on the climate-controlled wine cellar while local food pantries go begging.



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